Where is the hickey?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
