I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
