just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
