dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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