don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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