I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
50% drunk capacity currently
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
