what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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