so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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