You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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