My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
