do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
