He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
And then my night got REAL pukey
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
