and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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