I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
