I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
