she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
