I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
