It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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