I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
