Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
