You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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