i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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