2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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