They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
