she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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