There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
