You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
