Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
