I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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