forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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