Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
