It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
