obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
