whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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