Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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