In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
