he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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