Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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