I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
