Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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