and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
