ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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