her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
