great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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