Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
