We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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