jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
