Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm like, not good at living.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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