HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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