forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
