At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
